the emotionally controlling boyfriend

You may think your boyfriend loves you, but you really think about it, you may realize that you’re being controlled by an unintentional deceptive schemer. Many a times their “love” and “concern”.

Types of controlling boyfriends

It’s easy to pinpoint a physically abusive controlling boyfriend. On the other hand, there’s the emotionally controlling boyfriend who never dominates over you, but still finds a way to cut out your legs from under you.

You may never know you’re dating an emotionally controlling boyfriend until it’s too late.

Signs of an emotionally controlling boyfriend

An emotionally controlling boyfriend is a scary guy. He falls deeply in love with you and treats you like a princess all the time. And all along, he makes himself seem helpless and weak without you. Eventually, you’ll find yourself feeling more protective about him, and will start to fall more in love with him.

And somewhere along the way, you’ll begin to see a few of these signs of a controlling boyfriend.

They’re  insecure and possessive. And they just forget where to draw the line when it comes to trying to control you.

Signs

#1 He puts you down

He puts you down when you do something by yourself and makes it look like you can’t do anything without his help. He picks flaws in anything you do,. This will eventually make you lose your own confidence, and wait for his reassurance and help each time you try something new.

#2 He doesn’t like it when you go out with your friends

Does he say your friends are a bad influence or does he think one of your guy friends are hitting on you? He starts to choose your friends and tells you whom to hang out with. Eventually you’d find yourself losing touch with most of your friends.

#3 He’s insecure and doubts you

He plays mind games and tries to trap you with tricky, unnecessary questions. He tries confusing you into giving him contradictory answers which makes you feel like you are the bad person in the relationship.

#4 He wants to know everything about you

He hates secrets. He tells you all his passwords and secrets, and expects you to do the same, be it your email, twitter or facebook account. He wants to know every single detail of your daily life, and when he finds out that you haven’t told him a few things, he acts pained and hurt.

#5 He stalks you

He wants you to keep in touch with him very often, and he wants to be informed about everything you’re doing even if you’re just stepping out for a coffee break with your friends.

#6 He doesn’t like it when you have fun without him

This is rather simple and easy to see. If you go out with your own friends for a night out, he sulks or acts grumpy for a while and makes up another excuse about why he’s pissed off. Sometimes, he may even blame you for his mood and use an excuse like “you didn’t call me enough” or “you ignored me”.

#7 He cripples you

He looks for any excuse to prove a point. If something offends or bothers him, he’ll wait for a perfect excuse to bring that conversation up and prove his point. He loves saying “I told you so” and makes you feel lost without his guidance in life.

#8 He’s jealous

This can seem cute at first, but over time, his jealousy could turn into an obsession that borders on insanity.

#9 You can’t do anything important without him

When you achieve something without his help, he treats it like it’s no big deal. He behaves like your promotions and personal achievements are not big milestones in your life. On the other hand, he’ll consider you leaving your friends for him a bigger achievement that can help the relationship.

#10 He’s never at fault

But you always are. Even if he messes up at work he blames the big fight both of you had that morning. But if you make a mistake, he’ll make sure he constantly reminds you about the incident over and over again.

#11 He has different principles for you and him

He doesn’t like it when you hang out with a few of your friends. But when he meets his own friends, even the ones you dislike, he makes it seem like you’re the one misunderstanding his friends. He creates his own rules for himself, and imposes different rules on you.

#12 He takes decisions in your life

He may seem like a chivalrous knight who’s always there to help you make up your mind, but very soon you’d see that he’d actually be the one manipulating you and making all the decisions for you. And even if you do make a decision yourself, he picks flaws in it and shows you how wrong you are even if you know you’re right.

#13 He breaks down when you take a stand

This is a sick trait of an emotionally controlling boyfriend, but it’s one that’ll always show up when you take a stand. Whenever you take a stand or refuse to listen to him, he may argue with you. But when he can’t get it his way, he may break down and cry about how you don’t understand him anymore. What happens eventually is that you’d end up giving in for his happiness. His tears are his weapon to keep you with him whenever you wanted to leave.

#14 You lose your freedom

You find yourself asking for his permission to do anything. You assume he’s the best thing that’s happened in your life. All of a sudden, you’re convinced that he’s your personal god and the one who’s always right.

#15 You no longer know what you want

Your whole life revolves around him. He makes you believe that he’s the one who can make you happy and no one else. And surprisingly, you’d start believing it too. His happiness becomes yours, his wants are your wants, and his likes become your likes. Your whole world will start to revolve around him, and nothing else. And you become so codependent and pathetic you forget who u are in the process.

A relationship shouldn’t change who you are, especially when you’re already a happy person. You should be the only one who can change who you are.