suffocate or Sacrifice

Today Christine was very happy, this was her first birthday after  getting married. She was expecting some surprise from her husband, Ben. Maybe a candlelight dinner followed by some nice love making. But guess what, Ben has some other grand plans. He celebrated Christine’s birthday by inviting all his friends and their families. Christine spent all day  preparing dinner for  the guests. Everyone gushed and appreciated Ben’s sweet gesture of organizing such a wonderful  party for his wife but no one was bothered about Christine spending all day preparing dinner for so many people that too on her birthday.

Christine felt  suffocated from the inside.

Two years into the  marriage, Christine  finally decided to have a child and Ben decided that got the news that finally she should not continue with her  job after the birth of her baby as the newborn needed caring and he could provide for them Christine  wanted to work but a part of her was feeling guilty. Her older sister even expressed her envy on hoe lucky she was to have the liberty of being a stay at home mum. Confused and frustrated Christine finally resigned from the  job which was her identity.

At home running errands all day but still she was considered lucky as she can sit at home. Ben wanted breaks during the weekends because of his tiring job, so he was going on boys night out to chill and recharge for the Monday blues and often told Christine  “You are lucky to sit at home and enjoy with the baby.”

He never observed that her routine had become more hectic after the baby. Peaceful deep sleeping me time were things of the past. She never really  stepped out of the house unless it is necessary.

One year passed and now again today was Christine’s birthday. She got up early morning as usual and after a long time, she looked at the woman who was on the other side of mirror. Frustrated, suffocated and gloomy. She was not able to identify herself. She used to be so fun loving, always cracking the jokes. Her eyes were full of dreams,  the showed now signs of a fading  twinkling eyes. Flawless skin and lustrous hair, now looked ageing and ungroomed. She decided on that day , NO more sacrifice.

Again Ben without consulting her organised a birthday bash but this year Christine refused to prepare dinner. She left her two year toddler with Ben in a jiffy,  went to salon and cam back with a new look and in the evening confident.,  with new hope and life. 

Sacrifice when done out of the act of love becomes a burden for women. Are you doing things in your life you don’t want to?

Here are few tips which as a women you should follow in your life:

  1. Don’t  try to please people around you at your own expense.No need to be in the good books of everyone.
  2. Learn to say No to the things which you don’t like. It might be possible that the other person will not like it and there will be drama for days or months but if you will say yes to everything ,you will end up hating yourself.
  3. Love yourself.  As a women it is expected from us to look after our families , make small sacrifices for them. Yes its ok to do that don’t forget one thing – don’t lose yourself in loving and sacrificing for others.
  4. Speak your mind. Silence is not always golden ladies. Speak if you don’t like something.  If you are feeling left out every time and life as a mum, wife, daughter sees burdened speak up. You are a women first, the nurture of life. How you can nurture a positive seed with so much of suffocation and negativity.
  5. It’s OK not to be OK. Sometimes you just want to shout or cry. You feel trapped .Making sacrifices for your family is your duty and you do it relentlessly.. No it is not a  duty. If you feel like a day at the spa or you want to go catch a movie with some friends, just go treat yourself. If you are happy and satisfied then only  can your family get the best of you.
  6.  Keep the spark alive. No matter whatever is the situation or circumstance do things which help keep the spark alive in you as a woman.You might feel happy by shopping, by doing a girls night out or by dining out. Do what makes your soul sing. The problem is we have forgotten to feel with the soul. We have accepted our lives as our only reality.

Don’t sacrifice and suffocate.

Kaysha