Forgiveness. This word seems hard for most of you. We can’t seem to let go sometimes of pain we think people have caused us. We hold on to it for years and years and in that holding on, cause damage to to ourselves in the process.   

Anger is where all this pain stems from. And where does anger come from? A monk once took his boat out of the shore to go and practice meditation in the quiet, While in meditation, he heard sounds of another boat clanking against his. He got so angry thinking someone else was there and deciding to disrupt his peace. When he got out of meditation, he realised a boat had just drifted and there was no one there.

WHERE DID HID ANGER COME FROM? Himself alone. We alone harbour anger in ourselves. It’s like a piece of hot coal we hold in our hands to throw at someone and whilst we hold it, it burns us in the process. We need each other yet we hurt each other and thus can’t let go. Holding on to anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. By unforgiving people we are only hurting ourselves and allowing others to hurt us.

The problem is – we want to forgive, But we don’t know how to forgive.

Forgiveness is an ASSERTIVE creation of peace at the moment with a situation we are ABJECTED to that’s causing us internal rife and turmoil. Real forgiveness isn’t letting go. Real forgiveness is bring up the issue, naming the offence, acknowledging the hurt, feeling uncomfortable and being vulnerable and brave enough to accept it. Can we really untangle from the emotional dysfunction. Real forgiveness is unconditional. It can’t be earned. Love is the impetus for forgiveness 

To forgive. Give being the root word. For me to forgive someone there needs to be a willing recipient. There is a famous Greek mythology painting called the dance of grace, where one gives, one gets, one returns. Forgiveness should be a process, a divine dance- where all benefit, all share and all receive. it should flow like a circle.

Be unconditional in your forgiveness. Try the following steps.

1. Write down about the incident. In vivid details. How you felt, What emotions were brought up? Who were the people involved> Do you still remember and feel unfairly treated?

2. Did you at any point feel responsible for any part of the incident. Sit with the guilt and the feelings.

3. Choose to release.Tear up or burn off the paper and release it.

4. Do this for every incident in your life. Remember forgiveness in a life long process, not an event. 

Start your journey today